I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Hello, little man. I will destroy you! I can explain. It’s very valuable. Fry, we have a crate to deliver. Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head. Okay, I like a challenge. Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? […]

Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? Red Five standing by. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. What!? A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. Your eyes can deceive […]

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double […]

I can explain. It’s very valuable. You can see how I lived before I met you. Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. You can see how I lived before I met you. There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! What are their names? Shinier than yours, meatbag. I’ve got […]

These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. You are the last hope of the universe. They’re like sex, except I’m having them! Oh, how awful. Did he at least die […]

Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. Then we’ll go with that data file! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! And when we woke up, we had these bodies. It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. […]

Shut up and take my money! Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Tell them I […]